an SLR camera

    Translated from Italian this means “I am lost.” That is how I have felt for a long time. Lost. For years I suffered from depression and anxiety in silence until I broke. I realized that I needed to ask for help, and I have learned a lot these last couple months.

    Asking for help does not make you a failure, it makes you human. No one expects you to be superwo/man other than yourself. Its okay to fail sometimes, because once you fail you can only improve. For me this was the most important lesson.

   So these last couple months have been about re-learning how to live. How to accept myself for what I am, rather than tear myself apart for what I am not, and accept that I wont always succeed at everything, and that’s okay. Learning this makes life so much better, and I am thankful that I got to learn these lessons that some people can go their entire lives without learning.

    Being in Italy for the semester helps me to dedicate this time to me, and let everyone else take care of themselves, because sometimes you have to be your own hero. It’s like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I enjoy photography again, and I am not as anxious about disappointing everyone.

    While here I have re-learned how to eat. Sounds silly right? But while I used to just eat to fill a void, or eat simply because I had to, while now I enjoy eating. Italians like to taste rather than to drink, to enjoy rather than to eat. It is so true. Eating all the amazing fruits, veggies, bread, pasta, and gelato I have learned to stop just eating and to start enjoying.

      I have been getting lost a lot lately, and while before I would have panicked and started crying, I rather enjoy getting lost. I see parts of Florence that I normally wouldn’t have, and I don’t mind asking for help anymore. I found the most beautiful piazza when I was lost the other day, Piazza Massimo D’Azeglio. It was like a little park in the middle of the hustle and bustle of the city. So I sat down ate some bread and enjoyed being lost for about 15 minutes. And I can honestly say those were my favorite 15 minutes in Florence so far.